As I stepped onto the jet to fly to South Florida for work, I imagined living in the Sunshine state would be a blast. Sandy white beaches set amongst palm trees, beautifully suntanned people, with a twist of Latin culture were running across my mind.
And it all was after settling down…..for about the first week.
Over the following two years, South Florida’s image (specifically Miami, Fort Lauderdale and West Palm beach), carefully crafted through movies and music was not as it seemed.
The following reasons are why I will never willingly live or visit South Florida again:
1. Florida gets hot, excessively hot. The Summertime tropical humidity is especially terrible.
80 degree dry heat is warm, but add 60-70% humidity that’s typical to Florida and you’ll wish you were somewhere else.
To visualize, imagine walking into your bathroom with a heat lamp and closing all windows and doors. Next, switch on the shower to the hottest setting and turn on the lamp.
Lay on the floor and wait for an hour. Now we’re getting close.
Your only defense is air conditioning. But the humidity isn’t giving up that easily. The first step outside into the Floridian sun, the sticky, muggy, suffocating weather is waiting to envelope your body as your skin perspires in vain. There’s simply no escape.
Bottom line: the humidity in Florida is brutal 9 months out of the year. Learn to embrace living in a sweaty uncomfortable state or find another destination.
On the flip side, air conditioning installers in Florida have permanent job security.
2.Overdevelopment, traffic congestion and lack of nature.
Before the construction boom in the early 1900s, wild jungles and wetlands completely encompassed South Florida. Miami’s first postal route even traveled along the beach due to the interior’s inaccessibility.
But a century of draining wetlands and unrestrained development transformed the South Florida landscape to the suburban housing and concrete condominium sprawl that currently exists today.
Infrastructure planning prioritized automobiles over public transportation. Commuting to work? A clogged network of multi lane highways attempt to support 6 million residents, resulting in horrendous daily traffic. Miami ranks among the top 10 cities in the United States for congestion.
How about a relaxing coastal drive? The “scenic” A1A highway has more views of luxury condos than of the Atlantic Ocean itself.
Personally, I prefer not to be suffocated by overdevelopment. The city’s regional planners forgot that humans need green spaces and nature to keep their sanity and thrive, not more concrete.
3.Everywhere in South Florida is flat.
I prefer mountains. Give me hiking trails leading over hilly terrain which summit at post card vistas. Or elevations rising high enough to provide snow during the Wintertime.
South Florida lacks all of those. The low lying region is more concerned with how to cope with rising sea levels more than anything else.
However, for those who insist on enjoying a scenic view, guests can pay for the privilege to sip on overpriced cocktails while admiring the skyline on top level hotel bars. But now refer back to reason #2. The artificial views only further disconnects people from nature and this will never compare to a real hilltop vista.
Full disclaimer: I once visited a rooftop bar and snapped a few photos of the Miami skyline. But my wallet slapped me across the face refusing ever to be taken back again.
4. South Florida is a superficial culture, especially closer to Miami (and specifically South Beach).
If it doesn’t involve expensive luxury cars, 6-7 figure incomes, or a villa with a yacht docked nearby, then networking and the general dating scene is an uphill battle.
Miami has billion dollar fashion and film industries. The waterfront alone boasts some of the worlds most expensive real estate. So this attracts elites who have the money, but mostly wannabes who act like they do. All of this combines to create the epitome of a toxic environment and values.
There’s the nip-and-tuck, collagen, augmented, Botox superficiality. Ego based to say the least, with unreliable and fake personalities that would make even typical Southern Californian residents blush.
I don’t even know what season of Real Housewives of Whatever they’re filming in Florida, but I’m not interested.
In conclusion
This is my personal option after living in the South Florida region for over two years. But hey, take it with a pinch of salt. Travel down for the week to people-watch in South Beach, explore the Everglades by airboat, and drive down to Key West while listening to Jimmy Buffet. Just don’t spend too much time in Miami, Fort Lauderdale or West Palm Beach.
And after the trip is finished, I’m sure you’ll decide the next vacation should be somewhere else.
